i had a really bad day yesterday.
so bad i cried in front of the specialist
and then again in front of my consultant 😦
the shoulder shaking, breathlessly sobbing kinda cry.
tomorrow im on call again. missing out the free flow event tonight, and that's not even upsetting me.im hoping that i'll be able to go to bed by 8pm tonight.
thursday night i was on call and it was pretty okay, but friday (yesterday) post call i was alone because D* the other HO from my ward took mc. it was horrible because i was so fucking tired and yet i was alone to do everthing. plus im not familiar with alot of things and i was already feeling like shit thinking that there is no end to this every single day i'll have to go back to the hosp, even saturdays and sundays.
today D* took over the morning rounds because she was on call last night (even tho on mc) so i had a break and i didnt have to go. thank God because this little break does wonders to my mind.i know im on call again tomorrow but at least this morning i didnt have to wake up so early, i could catch up abit on lost sleep.
hopefully for the next few weekends we can rotate this way so i get some days off.
i dunno how much longer i can take this..